Just Some Girl
by Dancing Feather
Summary: Hello, you may or may not know me. My name is Tenten and I like sharp pointy objects. I've also seem to have fallen for the wrong Hyuuga and I think my teacher is a legitimate ninja. Oh well, it could've been worse. Lee's outfit could be orange. :hiatus:
1. 一

Kishimoto Masashi owns Naruto. If you can't stand stories that aren't a hundred percent canon you are not going to enjoy this story. Spelling, bad story telling, grammatical and OOC errors would love to be corrected.

* * *

**Just Some Girl: Here it Goes**

Have you ever been fascinated and disturbed by something at the same time? Sorry, that's a silly question. Living as a ninja consists of nothing but combinations of feelings and ideas. Happy you got the mission done, disgusted by the smell of rotting flesh on your wardrobe.

"_Oh Tenten, I'm so sorry! I know you just bought that-"_

"_It's okay! It's okay, Lee."_

We are raised at a young age not to think to much of the dead, and even less of the dying. I wanted to be something Konoha (and hopefully the Great Tsunade) would be proud of, so in my academy days I tried to be as emotionless as possible. Like Neji in a way.

Before I became teammates with him, I thought he was pretty cool. He always listened to the lessons aggressively and got the best of grades talking the least he could. Girls around me would blush and giggle when his eyes would just happen to scan them while searching for something else. And at that time I didn't get it.

I was mad every time I was labeled or grouped up because of my gender.

I thought Neji was cool but I knew next to nothing about him. Why are these girls around me getting these 'crushes' and dreaming of marrying such a boy? Yes he was pretty (prettier than me) and yes he was smart (much smarter than me). But what was his favorite color? His favorite food? What did he fear? Why were these girls dreaming of marring a boy who was most likely, not thinking the same of them?

One day I asked some fellow classmates, thinking I missed something on a day I was sick. But when I did, they all had the strangest looks on their faces, like I was speaking gibberish or something.

My stomache did something unusual that day. I hadn't thrown up since I was a baby, but there I was feeling like I was about to spray these girls with my dad's special curry dish. Being a ninja, it didn't take much to keep the curry down, but the emotions that ran with it was another matter. A matter that to my horror, would continuously be shoved in my face for years to come.

The best way I could explain my matter was if we were all pools, ponds. When an event comes along, and it wasn't even close enough to ripple your pond, you unconsciously ignore it. Why get involved in something that doesn't involve you? I didn't get why my peers where throwing themselves at boys and they didn't understand why I didn't participate. I get it, though I don't know why it happens. It does however, become very unsettling when something is shaking your pond of all of your water and no one else seems to notice. I mean, we are a ninja village, you would think at least the adults knew what was going on.

There was one theme that seemed to jump out on a constant basis. A very annoying one I might add. Everything seems to be categorized by gender. Male... or female.

I realize this sounds stupid, if not completely obvious. But please try to hear me out on this, it's one thing when it gets to condoms and tampons. That's down to our biological level. That's not a mental decision for us. Well, in a way I guess it is. I mentally chose not to have blood on my pants.

But then there are other things. Why do girls get dolls while the boys get action figures? Why are the action figures always cooler? And last longer? Why is it every time I look down the baby isle it's always soft blue for the boy and light pink for the girl? Why is the ugly yellow the ambiguous color?

Personally, I love pink because it calms me. It's not exactly my color, per say, but I find it too beautiful to care about fashion. I hate the fact that when I choose the shirt I want my dad to buy he rolls his eyes, _"Pink again? Girl's first choice, I guess." _I know he doesn't mean it like that, he's just teasing me. But it hurts me to think that people think I wear the color out of some unknown, feminine instinct. That I only wear it because I am a girl. Cool girls have more exotic flavors, dark colors and purples. Because their personal tastes are different from whoever set the norm as, they are seen as individuals.

What really makes a girl besides the XX chromosomes and a vagina? Anyone who has taken medical studies would know that males are also capable of having breasts like a female. Ones that function and everything. So when games like tag or another competitive game starts, why is it always boys verses girls?

"_Hey, can I join your group?"_

I wasn't very confident, but I wasn't going to let anyone see my shy side.

"_You are a girl aren't you?" _

The boy glared at me, as if the word girl was a disease or something.

"_What?"_

"_Go to the girly side, girl!"_

What is this, vagina verses penis? I knew it wasn't denied because I was a bad player. I wasn't the best, but I was hardly the worst. I was a girl, so I needed to act like one.

But how does a girl act?

I'm not the only girl who doesn't wear makeup even off duty. And not every vagina gives a girl 'a pain in the ass'. Oh, how I envy those girls whose don't even need pain pills. Hair length also does nothing. Neither does outfits or their colour. A boy doesn't magically turn into a female if he wears pink panties, so how does one act like a girl? Is it supposed to be instinct? If that's the case, am I a failure?

I didn't fit in and I didn't know why.

At first I was glad when I was assigned to Neji and Lee. Maybe the whole gender issue would go away as Lee or Neji didn't seem to care or push any of that stuff. Instead other issues arose, like Neji's egotistical attitude. Why did these girls like him? It seemed that every day, and I mean constantly, I was appalled with what came out of his mouth. Yes, I also thought Lee would never turn out to become a good ninja because of his lack of chakura controlling abilities. But to tell him that he was born a failure and thus would always be one?

It scared me.

Not necessarily for Lee's sake, but selflessly for my own. If I didn't know why I couldn't get along with my own gender did that mean I was to always be an outsider? If I couldn't get the basis of human relationships how was I going to ever have... a relationship? I might've not been interested in anyone right now, but it didn't mean that I didn't want to find somebody eventually.

Is there something wrong with me? I'm not interested in boys like the other girls. The thought of having a boyfriend didn't give me a warm feeling. Maybe it was because I had such a hard time trying to be friends with any one. Maybe, unconsciously, I wasn't going to push the matter until I could at least find someone who was willing to deal with me. Other than my dad. Someone who would enjoy spending time with me, and wouldn't leave me.

Thank God for Gai-sensei.

I will admit he was overwhelming at first. His personality was... wow. And his tight clothes was... wow. But thanks to him, for the first time the pressure was gone. The stress of trying to hold certain ideals melted and my mind settled. He taught me that yes, there are rules to everything, but no one rule can apply to everything. And the best thing, every single one of them can be broken. There is nothing in the books saying that to become a great ninja you needed chakura. It's just that every ninja that's made the books so far has never bothered trying.

Lee had a chance.

And because of that, I felt I had a chance too. Chance at what? I don't know. But the feeling of knowing I had one was a relief.

The Chunnin exams were very awkward for multiple reasons. Don't get me even started with how the whole thing ended. I wasn't awake for most of it, and somehow regretted it the entire time unconsciously. Gai-sensei said it was best for us if we waited a year, and now I wished he said two.

When he first said it, it was irritating. I really thought it was because he thought Lee and I were not ready for such a thing. Neji was sure to tell us exactly that when we watched all of our peers walk through those doors. I didn't feel like arguing against him. I mean, how frustrating it must be to be so smart, and be unable to go forward because you have to wait for your slow teammates? I have to admit however, if he went into another 'why everyone sucks but me' speech one more time I was going to throw a kunai into his jugular. How Lee is able to smile through all of his insults is beyond me.

When Gai-sensei said we were entering the next exam I thought, "Yes! He thinks I've improve enough to go forth in life!" But no, it turned out his eternal rival's team was entering. Lee was excited, because the genius of that academy's graduates was in that team. Yeah, I felt the pressure. But Neji didn't. He scoffed, telling me I was overreacting.

And then he asked me to follow him.

Confused but intrigued, I decided to obey. We climbed a few trees and before I could ask what he was bringing me to, he pointed over to a clearing. There, I saw the Uchiha, the girl Lee had a crush on and that orange dressed kid. My eyes not being as great as Neji's, I wasn't sure what they were doing. Or I should say, what they were suppose to be doing. Right now they were arguing, screaming at each other. Gai-sensei's eternal rival was standing back, reading a book. As if nothing was wrong!

"We are going to cream them." I gasped. I couldn't believe that one-eyed ninja was a teacher.

"Exactly." Neji folded his arms in a way that said, 'told you so'.

Of course, we both ate our words later.

It tasted a lot like blood and dirt.

* * *

When I first met them, team seven consisted of: Uchiha Sasuke, quite moody boy. Uzumaki Naruto, really noisy and upbeat. And Haruno Sakura, also a fan of pink. Wow, when I say it that way, they don't sound that different from my team. I wish I could add more to Haruno at that time, but I didn't know much about her. As much as Lee spoke of her it tended on consisting of just, "She's so cute!"

Their overseer was Hatake Kakashi. And their specialty was pure, and utter luck. It's lame, but I can't describe how they accomplish things any other way. It was like looking into an alternate reality mirror. We worked hard and did things by the rules and lost. They did whatever the hell they wanted as were rewarded.

Well, until that day Sasuke decided to leave Konoha, but I'm getting ahead of myself here.

I envied her. She said whatever the hell she wanted. She didn't care that Sasuke didn't like her and she didn't care that Naruto did. He reminded me of the girls that went after Neji. Despite being treated like trash, he followed after her as if he deserved it.

I envied her even as she completely dumped poor Lee. It would be one thing if she wanted to do nothing with him because this was the first time she ever met him and he was just _smothering_ her, but no, she was doing the exact same thing to the Uchiha.

I bet, I just bet that if Lee had Sasuke's looks this situation would be a lot different. No one would've been as hard on Lee at academy if he had thin eyebrows and nicely curved eyes. What ever happened to the teaching of not taking things at face value? Aren't we ninjas? Aren't we?

Listen to me, the hypocrite, when I finally saw the girl of Lee's dreams I finally understood what he was talking about. Her bright green eyes, soft pink hair, and how she dodged Lee's attempts and pouted about it. I thought she was very cute.

Yes, yes, let's get the shock over with. I can't cover it up, not without making this story sound any stupider than it already does. It's the whole reason that sand girl got the best of me anyways. Yeah, that's right, it wasn't because of her excellent skills. It was the attitude. It always seems to be about the attitude. How she strode forward with that smirk on her face, seeming to say, _'Yea, this is me, what are you going to do about it?'_

She looked like someone you could have fun conversations with, a sarcastic joker. And unlike me and so many other girls I knew, she had style. It was quirky, but I like quirky. Just before the announcer started us off I felt myself blushing, if a bit lightly.

So I see girls like girls see guys.

Alright, things are starting to make a little more sense.

Okay, no, they really aren't.

You know, when most people get revelations they WIN their battles. But not me, not Tenten. With her wind abilities verses my light weapons I still was still going to lose no matter what. But one thing is for sure, if I didn't have that wonderful spark of surprise she wouldn't have left the arena so smug. If I were capable of reliving the moment, I would've made sure that I at least have cut some of her face muscles. Cut them in a way so she would be left frowning even as she laid me flat.

Ha!

I _love _weapons. Especially the ones with blades. I basically only bothered to learn other Jutsu (mainly summons) just so I can carry more weapons on my person. The thought of something so thin cutting thick connections of flesh and veins... It was an escape, in a way. Like the way someone's face changed when you stabbed them, I wanted the power to do what I wanted to myself like I did to others.

So why can't I like boys? Lee would make the perfect date. I know he would treat me kindly and fair... And here I am blushing over girls who think nothing of me-

Oh shit.

I am no different from them.

Temari blew me off like how Sasuke would've done to Sakura if he were given the chance. Shit, here I've been wigging out because I thought I couldn't fit in because I was too different. Well, I am different but- dang it! I'm so lost and there is no one I can ask... I mean seriously, who do you ask? My dad? He suffered enough as it was trying to explain what was going to happen to me every month when I reached a certain age.

What do I do? I have no reference or examples to pull from. Nothing positive, anyways.

This is a ninja village. It's better- it's _preferred_ to be bisexual. Jobs can and will be long and brutal. If you do not get occasional comfort, you are going to lose it. Plus, you can take on the more difficult missions that require... one could say, an 'open' mind about. Heterosexuals are given the thumbs up anyways because it assures the village will continue to grow. Asexuals and people like, like _me..._ well, you can't make children out of that, can you? No, no one is going to throw sticks at me and tell me to burn in Hell, but no one is going to go, "You're a lesbian? Cool!"

Wait.

Yes, there are people who will say that. Given that you decide to live your life as a porn star or something. It is a Heterosexual male dominated area.

Goddammit.


	2. 二

**Just Some Girl: Bench Warmer**

I guess I was Neji's best friend way before he even considered having any friends. If he felt like things were getting too mushy he would always use the teammates label and excuse. Despite his aloof attitude, he would always ask me out to help with his training. Not Gai-sensei, nor Lee. Either bumping into me at the markets or just calling me at home, he would ask me if I could meet him at a certain place and time. Each of us taking turns bringing breakfast, lunch or dinner depending on where the sun was in the sky. When I would tier out (which I would always be the first to do so), I would sit back and watch him continue to push his limits on some poor log or another piece of wildlife.

Occasionally, he would stop and join me.

Sometimes, the silence would succumb to chatter.

This increased greatly after his defeat with Naruto.

I guess those were my first dates. I'm only assuming that, from what I'd hear from other girls. The fact that it was just the two of us, doing something together, sharing a meal. It sounded a lot like what they talked about.

I had fun at these dates, knowing that my aim was steadily getting sharper. And unlike with Lee, I don't have to worry about accidentally hurting Neji, thanks to the Heavenly Spin. Not to say training with Lee wasn't fun, it's certainly more upbeat and cheerful. But he is more stubborn than Neji at times.

When Neji sees a situation he knows he can't do anything about, he stops. Even when Lee notices he's stuck, he doesn't stop. He would just shrug, smile and try anyways. Neji will start slowing down when his fatigue was low, just to save up in case of an emergency. Lee would push it thinking that at least for next time, maybe he will have gained more stamina.

Both are right in a way, but both sides have large flaws. Not that I have right to belittle, as I took every word Neji said in stride.

I didn't believe in fate. To be truthful I never really thought about it until I met him. But I did think he had something going because of my situation, the whole, 'why are girls more appealing than guys?' issue. And everyone eventually dies, that's a given. However, the way he went about it was extreme. To him, it almost seemed like fate also called the shots to minuscule, seemingly (to me) useless things. Sometimes, I would expect him to look at one of the meals I brought and say,

"No, this is unsatisfactory. It was destiny that I am to have key lime pie today."

I knew fighting against him wasn't going to accomplish much, I'm not as quick witted as he and the conversation would turn sour in a matter of moments. So as much as I didn't agree, I went along with it. Who was I to tell him to knock it off? I lost my mom but never in such a gruesome way. My family was loose and easy going, the thought of being a slave to your own family... I couldn't even begin to imagine.

I didn't know if Naruto had any disregard, or if he had lived anything similar or worse than Neji, but after the initial shock of his defeat, I was glad for what he did. It's what Lee would've done if he had the strength. Poor, poor Lee. He wanted to do it so badly. I wanted him to do it too, but I wanted someone, just anyone to make Neji realize that he wasn't completely trapped.

There is more to a bird cage than just water, food and a swing.

If you had a good master, there would be ladders and perches. Noisy balls and shiny bells. Mirrors and spinning wheels. Sometimes, when you play along with the one in charge they will begin to trust you. Boundaries are pulled back and the cage door is left open for you to explore your master's cage, the house. If you two came to an understanding, then you could take trips out of the house and soon enough, the old bird cage was just your bedroom where you return to relax and think.

Don't get too amazed now. I only came up with that after the situation had long gone past the point where it would've mattered. Who would've thought that some kid wearing a bright orange jumper would be so inspirational?

Apparently no one did.

Somehow, even though I had did nothing to improve Neji's situation, he still found me worthwhile to hang out with. We would train, and other than when giving the other an explanation when training, when we talked it was normally on the worn green bench sitting in front of the training field. Worn because it looks like no one bothered to repaint it ever since it was placed there. It's missing it's left corner, possibly from a previous training regimen gone wrong.

When we sat there, we hardly gave the other eye contact. We would just continue looking out, past the torn dirt and rock and into the small forest past it. Thinking of completely different things than what we spoke of.

"You are the only girl from our class that has never asked me out." His voice was as level as always as his chopsticks scanned the choices in his dark blue bowl. "Why is that?"

"I just was never interested." I told him while looking at the ground, I knew that caught him off guard. He was probably expecting me to say something like,_ 'I would but you are too good for me!'_ or something equally cheesy. Little did I know what was going through his mind.

"Do you think... you ever could be?" Now it was my turn to be in shock. He was interested in someone like me? But why? Though we hardly glanced at each other, I found it really hard not to look in his direction this time.

"I don't know." I said, and it was honest. I don't know how much I hurt him from saying those words, but something else incredible happened.

I had earned his respect.

While the word friend was still a stiff word on his lips, the word teammates became gentler. He wouldn't joke unless it was delivered in a sarcastic deadpan manner. He would never hug me or Lee unless the circumstance was dire, like when Gai-sensei crammed us together for a forced group hug. But life seemed to ease up for him, if just a little bit. And because of that, I started to see his cousin more often.

I saw her a few times before, but she was like a paranoid cat. When company came over she would disappear and not come out until the said company left. When she graduated from academy she was more commonly seen wherever her teammates would drag her. She was incredibly polite, which was very different from most Hyuugas I had dealt with. Oh, they were polite, but how they delivered their messages was far from sweet and caring. One might say, '_I hope you have a good morning'_ but the tone it was given in would sound like, _'I hope you get rapped in the next alleyway you walk into and die of AIDS.'_

When she asked if you would like tea, it wasn't forced politeness of a stuffy hostess. She really wanted to make sure you were comfortable. Stuttering all the while. She was incredibly shy.

She was also incredibly cute.

She blushed over every little thing, wanting everything to be perfect. Or at least, wished one thing would go right. Her father loved her, but didn't know how to show it or seemed to be aware of how hard she took his words. She'd constantly press her index fingers together, her focus on something that wasn't there. One day, I felt like introducing myself. After all, it's kind of silly to not greet someone you appreciate.

Little did I know the similar situation she was in.

"Hello." I waved while walking up to the porch she was sitting on.

"H-hello." She gave a small smile before dipping her head. "Y-your Neji's t-team, teammate?" She didn't say it like it was a bad thing.

"Yea, I'm Genji Tenten." I gave a light bow, "I'm sorry for not introducing myself earlier."

"Oh please!" She immediately sat up straighter, waving her hands causing me to stand back from the shock of her blurt and not wanting to get hit. "P-please don't bow to me! I-" Her hands quickly retracted back to her chest, "S-sorry, that was very, very r-rude of me..."

"It's okay." I gave a smile hoping it would ease her, but she didn't look back up.

"My name is Hyuuga Hinata," she whispered, "p-please excuse my rudeness."

"I excuse you." I pointed to the empty azure pillow beside her, "May I sit here?"

"Please do as you wish!" She pushed the pillow to the edge of the porch and her hands retreated to her chest again. The first daughter to the Hyuuga Main Branch, what made her so insecure?

"We should talk about something," I prompted sitting down, "it's only natural that when two strangers meet each other that we figure out what the other likes." I gave her a soft nudge with my elbow. "So we'll know if meeting each other in the future will be a waste of time or not."

"Oh no! I'd never see you a waste of time!" It was the first time we gave each other eye contact, but I didn't think much of it when it happened. I was just so baffled that this girl couldn't even seem to take negativity even on a joking level. Or maybe I was just being too friendly at the time. This was the first time we ever spoke to one another.

"Sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like that." I placed my hands on my lap to make sure they wouldn't try to go anywhere while I talked. "What would you like to talk about?"

"W-whatever you would like," she pressed her fingers together, "I-I'm not picky."

"Neither am I, but we got to talk about something."

"You can s-start first."

"But I'm the one who introduced myself first, it's only polite to have the interrupted have a say on what we talk about."

"But I'm the hostess. Guests s-should go first."

"But this guest doesn't care!"

"It's okay! P-please don't stop yourself for, for me!"

"You should be more confident, go ahead!"

"It's, it's really alright, go ahead."

"You go ahead."

"Oh, I couldn't..."

After awhile, I felt like I was getting nowhere with the girl. In less than than thirty seconds, she seemed to realize where this was going and in the end, we were both nervously giggling. We wanted so badly to give the other a good first impression and not anger the other, trying to find out something we both enjoyed. In the end, we were laughing about nothing in particular.

And that was okay.

* * *

In something irrelevant, key lime pie can go to hell. You heard me you freaky dessert. Magically grow some legs and take a hike. Of course, if you able to magically grow legs the government would be on your ass so fast you wouldn't know what hit you.

It was the government.


	3. 三

**Just Another Girl: Step In**

I'm disturbing, I guess. But that's just me putting it lightly. I'm a girl of high order but with the presence of trash. Despite my lineage I, I don't stand out very well. I've sometimes wondered why father never attempted to replace me with Neji years back w-when no one was looking. He looks more like my younger sister anyways.

For... for a long time I wished I could shine. But not too brightly! I don't want everyone to see me! A dim bulb is alright. Just enough for the people I care about to see me. That would be enough.

I want to do something good, and do it well. I'm, I'm so sick of being a burden to everyone. It's not fair to them. When there is work to be done, everything should be equally distributed. But no matter what I do, I turn into the useless princess. On the side, taking up space.

When I was younger (and occasionally now), I wished I was born in a normal family. No special blood line, no strange eyes, and no great expectations.

"_From the Hyuuga clan? Well, I guess I will be seeing no less than A's from you."_

"_No less than your cousin Neji."_

If I was born into a normal family, I wouldn't be scorned for not getting the best grade. I would be praised for not being last, for doing the best that I could. That I was put into a good team, with a kind sensei and teammates that are so willingly to tolerate me that they became friends with me. No matter what, I will keep a positive attitude.

After all, look where N-N-N... Na-Naru- Ack! I can say his name! I really can! Na... Naru-Naruto. Naruto. Naruto. Naruto. Yes, it's not that hard. Na... Naruto.

I hate myself.

But I believe, I know that whatever you may not like about yourself you can change with time a practice. N-Naruto did it. He showed us all. I have no right to complain. Compared to him, I have a good life. I have family. I have a nice big house where I never have to worry about leakage, and I never have to worry about pluming. Aside from my family, everyone I knew liked me.

He didn't have any of that.

Everyone hated him.

Aside from his pranks and bad grades, I really couldn't understand why that was. Why did everyone hate him? And why... how could he continue to smile despite this? He always baffled me every time he would come to academy the very next day smirking despite what happened the previous.

Of course, he can grin as big as he wants to now, he's proved them all wrong. He's shown them that he can take the toughest cases and still joke around. He can make anyone smile. All I have to do is think about him and one shows up on my face. Don't worry, it's okay for me to smile right now. There's no one here in this room but me, and I locked the door.

Things have eased up since my sister, Hanabi, was announced to be the next successor. In one way it felt like the biggest disappointment because that meant father had finally lost patience with me. There was no potential seen and he couldn't waste time training someone who would put the Hyuuga style to shame. But at the same time, a great weight was lifted from my shoulders. Now I'm not expected to do anything amazing. Like how Naruto was.

I did it! I said his name without stuttering! Na... Naruto! Narut-to! D-dammit!

Oh, excuse me! Sorry, I... I didn't mean to say that. I guess Kiba is rubbing off on me. Well, he does give nice hugs. He gets a lot of practice. Like my family, his is big. Unlike mine, his is very close. Everyone is easy going and loves to joke.

Very... alien.

Coming out of academy was very scary for me. Most of my fellow students I didn't really like. It's not that they were bad people though! I just... it's hard to get along with them. Ino and Sakura are very pushy people. If you do not hold your ground, you lose it. I could only say no so many times. But if they are that persistent, what they want must be important ...right?

Sakura was very lucky. She not only got together with the smartest boy in class (until Asuma-sensei revealed Shikamaru's talent later), she got together with Na... N-Naruto. It's probably for the best. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I had gotten signed up with him. Faint everyday? Like I need to be anymore useless...

N-Naruto is so cool. I've never seen him back down from a challenge, or on his own words. Everything he sets his mind to, he succeeds at. Not only that, but he invented his own technique. It's... really something. Heh-eh...

Sorry, I'm... disturbing.

If being weak wasn't enough, I'm perverted. It's like my existence was created to shame the Hyuuga clan. As if we angered an old magician and so placed a curse on the clan. While all these girls around me are talking about boys boys boys... I still see them as I've always seen them since I realized there was more than one gender.

At first I thought I was being slow, like I was in everything else. But when N-Naruto used the sexy no jitsu in class- Oh boy... I only saw 'her' backside but the thought of wishing 'she' had turned around startled me greatly. Even more so than the sudden prank. Thank God girls don't get nose bleeds. And, and since there is nothing on this Earth that doesn't make me blush, no one thought much of my reaction.

Face value means a lot to my clan. If it has nothing to do with them, they don't care. But, but to be a Hyuuga lesbian is forbidden. Like, like it were a choice...

Like being weak.

But if I were to have a crush on a girl, who was really a guy... who was to judge? N-Naruto is making his name not one of scorn but pride now in Konoha. Eventually, he will become Hokage. I know he will accomplish this. And when he does, my father will not think of me as being stupid. But this is if N-Naruto ever gets over Sakura. And... and if I were to get any decent courage.

Whatever happens, I know I can't make myself get over N-Naruto. He's the only boy I'll ever like. The only one my father will even consider me taking. It, it really disgusts me. But if I calm myself down, and think of 'her' as being a boy in disguise it doesn't seem so bad.

Sometimes, when I think of 'her', another girl comes to mind. I don't see her as often as I do Kiba, Shino, Akamaru or Kurenai-sensei, but for some reason I don't stutter as badly when I am with her. There was something about her that was different. Not a bad different! No, not at all! Whatever it was, it made me feel safer. As if there were no expectations to keep, that everything was going to be okay. With that in mind, the stuttering starts to melt away.

Today, I'm going to see her.

I stare at the mirror just long enough to make sure my hair isn't sticking up. I'm wearing one of my favorite dresses, light purple cut to the knee. Embarrassingly, it doesn't have any sleeves. Putting on a sweatshirt should solve that issue.

I look in the mirror again. It looks like my hair is still there.

Okay.

Good.

I have my sandals on, so what's stopping me from leaving? Other than the fact I don't have to go for at least twenty more minutes. Alright, you could say I'm eager. She called me yesterday asking if I wanted to go window shopping with her.

"_Window shopping?"_

I really wasn't familiar with the term.

"_You know, stare at really cool things and wished you had them?"_

I was familiar with the feeling. But not in the way she probably was. There are very few things my clan cannot afford, but there are many things my clan will refuse to buy. Bright, noisy toys. Flashy clothes. Jewelry. The dress I'm wearing right now I almost didn't get to own. But since I'm not the clan's successor anymore, I'm allowed some colour.

Tenten doesn't have the luxury I have. Being able to afford unnecessaries. Today I hope I will be able to buy her something nice. Whenever that will be a plushy, cool shirt or pants, shoes. She doesn't seem much into jewelry.

Of course, knowing her I might be dragged into a weapons shop.

Again.


	4. 四

**Just Some Girl: Another Pair of Eyes**

When some people dream, they can't tell it is a dream. No matter how ridiculous the plot of the story is. Or even if there is no plot. Others can tell when they are in a dream. Most of the time I can. When I do, I can basically control the dream to my whim. A dream could start with me running away from shadows with red eyes and have it ending with me sitting in a field petting bunnies.

Hey, don't dis the bunnies.

Recently however, my dreams have not been so controllable. I'm guessing because as I'm getting older, I realize how uncontrollable my future is, and it's reflecting in my dreams. It hasn't stopped me from hoping everyday that someone from higher up the chain to see some potential that I haven't, and give me a leg up so I can kick my own face because I think I've fallen for the worst person in the world.

"So, ready to go?" I gave a grin to the cutest girl in the world. Today she wore a light lavender dress which really complimented her long dark blue hair. She nodded, shortly before grabbing my arm.

"L-let's go!"

Now, I'm not saying worst because she has horrible character, oh no. Personally, I see no flaws in the girl, which I know has to be a problem in itself. Yes she's shy, but she means well. She's not really a great ninja, but that really wasn't her choice, was it? She's darling, makes great conversation tries her best and has been a really good friend. I say worst because I am soooo out of my league. She's a Hyuuga! A Hyuuga who is going to be married to some high esteemed _male_. Even if that's not what she wants, that's what her family will push her to do and I'm still left cheap and lesbian. Could I be anymore pathetic?

No, wait. Irony wants to add something.

"Have you changed your mind yet?" Neji says walking up to me while I'm stretching before our morning training. He really doesn't say it in a question format, and it was not a command. Neji just says it in that monotone way of his, and odd enough it sounds _hopeful_. Someone please tell me I'm wrong.

"Changed my mind about what?" I said out of hopes that it wasn't what I thought it was.

"About us." Why does he say it like that? It still sounds so _vague_. I wish I could still act oblivious, but the look on my face probably showed very well that I understood. Why am I such a bad actor off duty? I shifted the weight on my feet side to side as I tried to think of something clever to say.

"Sorry." Great. I felt so nervous and disturbed... but that's the best I can say? He is a nice guy considering all what he's been through, talking politely and isn't one of those crazy seekers who stalk those who disagree. I figured for his sake, I should've said something better. But I was so unaccustomed to the situation, I've been taught how to kill people not converse with live ones. So surely over time I would get better.

"Tenten, do you still think the same?"

"Yes, sorry."

If, you know, someone else asked me out.

"Have you changed your mind...?"

_Are you kidding?_

"No."

But this constant asking over time was getting... irritating.

"I would find it a great honor to date you."

_That's great, I don't._

"Thank you Neji, but please, I'm fine with being friends."

Obviously he wasn't. It's not like he goes out to parties or festivals to meet new people. For all he knows, I'm the only girl on this world he can tolerate. In a sense he's lived a sheltered live and I can understand his disinterest of widening his circle of friends, but really? Most of our female peers have improved over time, showing they do learn from their mistakes. I can't be the only girl that meets your expectations!

"Tenten, if I may ask..."

_No. Please stop!_

"...this is the last time..."

_I heard that before._

"...would you ever consider me worthy?"

The usual words on my tongue fell back down my throat. It was about time he at least phrased it differently. Ever consider him worthy? I gave him a look of pity. I couldn't say, _"Never, unless my first impression was right all along and you really are a woman."_ So I said this pretty little piece instead, "How about this, I'll tell you when I do."

_Until then, try introducing yourself to women who are straight._

Usually he takes the words well, but I think this time it was one no too many. I could see his eyes and eyebrows twitch in stubborn frustration. "I'm sorry I seem so unfavorable to you." He looked away, trying his best not to sound so sour.

"No! That's not it at all!" I waved, frantically trying to think of what a polite straight girl would say, but I was really lost. If you were into quiet, serious guys Neji would seem very favorable. "I- I guess..."

"It's alright Tenten," he shook his head, "you don't need to make up an excuse." And then he went about the rest of the day as if that didn't transpire. I need to find that guy a girlfriend. And I need to stop crushing on his cousin, but one thing at a time here. The next thing that happened I still can't decide was fantastically lucky or disturbingly wrong.

"Why is it dear Tenten, that you will not date youthful Neji?"

Yeah that's right, Gai-sensei witnessed that. I wanted to commit seppuku right then and there when he pulled me aside after training. "What?" I managed to choke out.

"Have your ears aged?" He didn't say it as an insult. Can that be used as an insult? "Neji is a wonderful teen who doesn't show his youthful emotions well or often!" He paused to give a tragic pose. "He is just trying to understand love and you snip the rose before it could flower!"

Oh my God, no.

"No, wait sensei." I put a hand to my forehead to brace the sudden headache forming. "That wasn't my intention."

"Then what is the matter with dating the boy?" Pose. "You two are both young, a perfect time to make mistakes!" Pose. "It may seem awkward now, but once you two work it out it may be the best thing you ever did!" Then he had to say, "You never know until you try!" Then, he gave me a small slice of mercy and gave me time to let the slow wheels in my head turn.

I didn't want to say, _You have no idea what this is about! _Even though it really was, it just sounds so deliberately angsty. That, and he would probably counter by asking me what it was about. I didn't want to tell him what it was about. I didn't want to know his opinion. I know he's an open minded guy but that didn't stop my frightened, paranoid self from thinking otherwise.

Eventually, it came to the point that he was waiting so long for my answer that he stopped posing and stood on the ground like a normal person- but then he held my arms instead. I braced myself, getting ready for a hug or something, but instead he says, "Tenten, it's alright to say no. I just want to make sure everything right between you two." His eyes as simple as they were, were very intense. I felt my heartbeat began to calm down as I took a deep breath.

So you have a secret. You know you can't keep it to just yourself forever. So when a situation like that comes up, who is the first person you tell? For some it's their psychiatrist, others the bartender, the lucky a best friend. I thought it would be my dad.

"Nothing is alright." He heard me whisper, I felt so ashamed. What if he thinks I'm a freak? My only paranoid hope at this time was that sensei was in some sort of transparent closet. It would help me understand the tights thing for sure.

"Come, let us sit on this log." His voice was still cheery, but much calmer. "Let's see what sensei can fix for his poor youthful student!"

"With old ears." I added, following him to the foot of the forest. Sitting down, I wondered how often sensei was going to be jumping up and down to pose during conversation.

"Now Tenten, why is nothing alright?" He looked honestly hurt, as if he were the cause of it.

"Neji keeps asking me out and I keep saying no." I shrugged, unable to think of how to deliver the other half of it.

"He is found of you." He stroked his invisible beard.

"I like him too, just not in that way."

"You can't bring yourself to amuse him with even one date?"

"We already sorta do. We plan days for sparring together."

"What about movies? Or shopping?" If Gai-sensei isn't gay he is the most metrosexual man I have ever met.

"He doesn't like that sort of stuff."

"Oh." He sounded disappointed. "Darn, and I wanted to recommend a movie to him."

"We have fun conversations," _when you don't count the him asking me out bit,_ "but we don't have much in common."

"Funny, I always thought you two would've made a cute couple."

"Pff, compared to me and Neji, Lee has more chance with Sakura." Alright, I admit that sounded rude.

"Now Tenten, why do you say that?"

_Because they are straight._

This time though, I couldn't come up with a better thing to say other than what my snarky brain had come up with. "Uh... because, um..." _Crap, bringing up Sasuke will make this worse. _"Because..." I could already feel my head burn up in embarrassment. This wasn't fair, I can't just-

"Tenten, do not restrain your youth! You only have it for so long, embrace it!"

Go to hell Gai-sensei and take your youth with you.

"I... I kinda like somebody else." I couldn't look at him, I was doing everything in my power to not run away and cry like a _girl_.

"And you were rejected and felt bitter!" What? How dare he assume- "Now Neji knows how you feel!"

"No! I can't bring myself to say anything! She's out of my league!" I was so angry at his surprisingly accusing words it flew out of my mouth before I could stop it. My hands, late in the game slapped themselves over my traitorous mouth. Before I could say anything more, he then gave this smile like he _knew_. I felt violated until I remembered that my teacher is a goddamned ninja. He patted my back with a laugh.

"Neji doesn't see you out of his league, and we know how high he keeps his 'standards.'" He then winked at me, because it's youthful or something. "No love is worth love if it isn't worth pursuing, right? Speak and let this lucky girl know she's special!"

I had to run it through my head a couple time to make sure I had it. Neji who is high profile and knows he is considers me worthy. So someone like Hinata who doesn't consider herself high profile... would I have a chance?

"...right." I managed to mumble out.

"I'm sorry for manipulating you!" He cried as he hugged me. "I just wanted my lovely student to know she's loved no matter what youthful taste she has!" Alright, no. Youthful taste? I'm not a pedophile!

"Thank you sensei, I wouldn't know what to do without you." I said as quickly as I could. He released me, we said our goodbyes for the day and left.

Gai-sensei knew or at least had a hunch that I was a lesbian. How obvious is it? How many other people have this assumption? Neji doesn't, and he's suppose to be the smart one of this group. I was walking to Hinata's house when I started having second thoughts on talking to her. Haven't I been through enough today? So I have a few problems in my life. They feel a bit overwhelming, but I guess things could be a lot worse. I should address them as soon as possible if I want this over with. But why should I start with the hardest thing?

"Hinata," I said shorty after she opened her door, "we need to find your cousin a girlfriend."

She laughed.

Well at least somebody can.


End file.
